Wednesday, January 6, 2016

Things The Conservative "Movement" Can Do For You!


We've received constant complaints recently from people who think that we've shown too many things that the progressive types can do for us and not enough from the "right" wingers' side.


AND since we're reknown for being even-handed and fair at all times when dealing with our Conservative brethren we'll be happy to oblige - because after all we're in a two-party system in this country, where both sides compromise to get things done.


So without further ado, here are the things that the Conservative movement can do for all of us this New Year, starting with this sterling example from Conservative patriots who can do stuff for lots of all kinds of Americans...


...even thought we have to admit that even the Cons didn't see it coming...


...so if you want to see something the Cons can do for us to keep us safe, check this out...


...and this tells us a bit about the GOP's immigration policy...

...and this one about the GOP and their solution for man-made climate change and the destruction of the world.


The Cons have all kinds of goodies for us in the form of new jobs...


...and new gun laws...


...and biblical values...


(Because God is only on the side of Conservatives!)


...and vitalizing the base...


...and the sanctity of the Supreme Court...


...and the sanctity of life...


...and blissful serenity for all...


...and eradicating racism...


...and explaining how the Big Tent of the GOP works...


..as well as preventing those countless mass killings by arming us all...


...and because truth matters, preaching the truth at all times...


(Well, MOST of the time.)


...and listening to the needs and wishes of their constituents...


...and improving the country with common sense legislation...


...and showing compassion for the disadvantaged...


...and responding quickly to journalists' questions, no matter how embarrassing...


...and finding the terrorists, no matter where they hide...

...and political campaigning Conservative-style!


And in the end...


********************

This is the main desire of the Conservative "movement," because Conservatism and democracy are at opposite ends of the political spectrum.

Obviously, the Cons don't care if they are anti-democratic even if by extension it also means that they're anti-American.

But when it's also obvious that they don't care if they continually lie, deceive, steal, and kill - it puts them in the same camp as any crime syndicate that you can name.

AND when you realize that the GOP is nothing more than a hidey-hole for this criminal cartel called the "Conservative movement," then it's time to...

...criminalize Conservatism!