Wednesday, July 15, 2015

How To Be A Successful Conservative Politician Without Being Smart, Kind, Or Honest.


Did you know that you can be a successful Conservative politician without having to be smart, kind, or honest?

This is a letter that was just received from a young man who really wants to be a Conservative politician, but is lacking in certain political skills:

Dear Joyce, Jnr.

I'm just an Average Joe, neither smart, or kind and I don't think I could go far in the GOP with those anti- Conservative qualities. I also like little boys.

Signed,

Buford Travis Scruggs.

And our answer to this poor young man:

Dear Buford,

Boy are you wrong!  Thousands of successful Conservative pols have made it to the top by just ignoring anything decent or intelligent in their make-up...just look at these examples!

Image result for pedophiles AND republican OR conservative


Good luck in finding success as a stupid, mean, crook!

Signed,

Joyce, Jnr.

Here are some of the examples we provided young Buford, starting with this...



...and this meme too, just to show him that he isn't alone...



...with a little hate thrown in to counter the innate human kindness in him...



...because kindness is overrated, anyway.



And the kind of money you're going to make being a Conservative politician outweighs everything else, even these things...



...because you can always get a do-over like this...



...and some of these problems can be easily overlooked.



After all, when you're in charge who cares how dumb you are - especially when no one else is too bright either...



...because intelligence really doesn't matter to the average Conservative Sheeplet...



...because stupid is as stupid does...



...especially with YOUR supporters...



...just like the old days when Stupid and Meanness ruled...



...AND because stupidity didn't stop this great Conservative hero either...



...no matter what "smart" people think of him...



...AND because you provide the mouth and your sponsors and mentors will do the rest.



So your rise to the top will be absolutely meteoric if you just practice a few of your favorite Con's debating skills...


...and the best thing is that no matter how much you screw the country, you can do it over and over again...


...because the average American has a short memory...



...and they can be wooed with ideas like this...



...and this...



...and this...



...and this...



...AND of course, all of these great Conservative ideas too...



...because the GOP has your back at all times!



********************

The average American voter is a low-information voter and doesn't really understand how stupid, mean, and dishonest each and every Conservative politician is.



(We say "Conservative," because the GOP is built on the sole imperative: The rich must rule.)

The Conservative leadership isn't necessarily a 100 percent stupid, but their supporters are.

Honest and kindness are moot, of course.

And the Conservative leadership preys on the stupid and mean in our society, because kind, smart, and decent people prefer to live in a true democracy.

So don't you think that it's about time we...

...criminalize Conservatism?

Joyce, Jnr.


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"Go back to what our founders and our founding documents meant --
they're quite clear -- that we would create law based on the God of the
Bible and the Ten Commandments."

Sarah Palin.

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